Love is Pain
by kandykan
Summary: Takes place after FOTJ Apocalypse. One-shot. As Ship takes her away from the Jedi, Vestara mulls over her love for Ben and her future.


**A/N: Major spoilers for **_Fate of the Jedi: Apocalypse._** This is just my view of what happens to Vestara after she leaves.** I haven't read many _Star Wars: Legacy_ comics, so sorry if the Sith are OOC.** I don't own anything in the galaxy far, far away... :( R&R!**

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><p><em>…Love is pain, Lady Khai. And pain makes Sith strong.<em>

Ship's words echoed through Vestara's mind. She was in a trance-like state and had been sitting cross-legged in the center of the Sith Meditation Sphere ever since their departure from Maw. She did not know where Ship was taking her or how her future would now unfold. The only thing Vestara was certain of was that she had a gaping hole in her chest, one that might never heal. Her emotions were a swirling tempest, a mixture of expectations, confusion, excitement, a little fear, and…heartbreak―the pain that was supposed to make her strong.

Would she ever see Ben again?

She remembered the last words he had said to her, "Trust me," and how her heart had ripped to pieces when she struck him with a burst of Force lightning. _Love is pain… Pain makes Sith strong,_ she repeated to herself, trying to get those clear blue eyes out of her head. It would've been so easy if he had just taken even a little sip from the Font of Power, but he had to be the good Jedi and refuse to drink. Now, Vestara felt anger well up in her chest. Why did Ben have to be so kriffing stubborn about his Jedi ideals? Why couldn't he have been born Sith? Suddenly, Vestara was angry at herself. Why hadn't she been able to turn him to the dark side? She was a Sith Lord now! She should have been able to do the simple thing of turning someone to the dark side. She had an instant urge to blast something with Force lightning.

_Yes, pain is making you strong._ Ship's voice woke her up. _Lady Khai, we have arrived._

Vestara rose from her sitting position and moved toward the wall, which had become transparent. She saw a familiar orange-brown planet looming closer and closer; she had been here before.

"It's Korriban," she stated with surprise. "No one lives here anymore. I came here with―with the Skywalkers only a month ago."

Ship chuckled in her mind. _These Sith hide themselves well._

"But I asked the Tuk'ata if there were any Sith here," Vestara retorted.

_The Tuk'ata serve the Sith, and the Sith do not want to be found,_ replied Ship.

Ship descended toward the cloister at the mouth of the Valley of the Dark Lords. As they approached the gate, to her amazement, Vestara saw that the hole she and the Skywalkers and Jaina Solo had cut into it was no longer there. Then she saw that a Chagrian male with red and black tattoos covering his body was standing at the gate watching them land. Ship landed and let Vestara out. She checked that her lightsaber was with her and strode toward the Chagrian, concealing her swirling emotions. Once she reached him, she stood, waiting for him to speak first, knowing that if she were to be accepted into this Sith order, she would have to be tactful.

The Chagrian regarded her for a moment, then spoke, "You are a Sith?"

"Yes," replied Vestara with confidence, though she had a billion questions in her mind.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Vestara Khai."

The Chagrian turned to look at Ship, then turned back to Vestara. "Because you have brought the Sith Meditation Sphere to us, I will bring you to my master and let him decide what to do with you."

I will stay here, said Ship.

The Chagrian nodded and turned around, gesturing for Vestara to follow him into the central courtyard of the citadel. The last time Vestara had been here, the balconies had been empty. Now, however, several hooded figures in dark cloaks stood there, looking down upon her. Directly in front of her stood a dark man with tattooed markings radiating out from his eyes. She could feel that this man was very powerful, as powerful as Luke Skywalker―but in the dark side. He also seemed, strangely, familiar.

"Vestara Khai," the Chagrian announced.

Vestara looked at the dark man and finally realized why he seemed familiar. "I've seen you before," she remarked brusquely.

Suddenly, a Force blast slammed into her and pinned her to the black cobblestones of the floor. The Chagrian's voice rang out, "You will show Lord Krayt respect."

Krayt chuckled. "Darth Wyyrlok, let her up."

"Yes, my Lord." Wyyrlok released Vestara from his Force hold so she could rise to her feet. He scowled at her. "Just remember to address Lord Krayt as my Lord."

She nodded. She would have to keep on reminding herself to be tactful. "I saw you…my Lord, on Coruscant at the Manarai Heights Spaceport."

"Yes, I was on Coruscant as you saw," replied Krayt. "And you were with Luke Skywalker. Yet you are a Sith. I can feel that the dark side is strong with you. Why were you with the Jedi, and why did you leave?"

Vestara took a deep breath and started to speak, "My Lord, I was part of the Lost Tribe. However, I had to kill my superior and my father because they had fallen under Abeloth's grip. I ran with the Skywalkers to avoid being killed by my people. Then when Abeloth was destroyed and the Sith defeated, Ship brought me here."

"And why should we keep you alive?"

"I spent almost a year with the Skywalkers. I was able to trick them into thinking I wanted to be a Jedi, and now I know them quite well. I also learned much about the Jedi Order. I am a Sith Lord."

Krayt studied her for a moment. "Why do you miss them?"

"What?" said Vestara, confused about what Krayt was asking.

"You hide your emotions well, Lady Khai, but you cannot hide anything from me," Krayt explained. "There is a part of you that misses being with the Skywalkers. Why?"

"I―" Vestara paused, wondering whether to lie or not. Then she realized that Krayt would probably just see through a lie. "I was in love with Ben Skywalker."

A laugh came down from the balcony. "Silence!" stated Krayt with his eyes still on Vestara. "Ah, you were in love. And you used your love to get what you want?"

She nodded, feeling a lump rise in her throat.

"You might make a fine Sith. Your love will be the pain that will drive you. Welcome to the One Sith."

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><p><strong>AN: How'd you like it? Please review!**


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